Do you know what’s in your child’s Sex Ed curriculum?

8 Comments July 25, 2012 in Parenting

Recently a school that uses a Planned Parenthood sex education curriculum got into hot water with the parents of their fifth grade students. During their “routine” sex ed class the teacher (who is also the principal of the school) taught the kids how to have oral sex.

The kids went home traumatized.

Parents were outraged, accusing the teacher of raping the minds of their 10 and 11 year old kids.

But the school superintendent defended the principal saying “she stuck to the curriculum”.

(You can read the whole story here.)

A breach of trust

The parents in this small town trusted their small, country school to take care of their kids. They assumed their kids would be safe at school.

They assumed wrong.

In the school’s defense, they had given parents an opportunity to review the curriculum. Only three parents showed up.

Do you know what's in your child's Sex Ed curriculum - Carla Anne Coroy - stack of books including sex education text

I don’t think this is unusual.

Do you know what your kids are being taught in this area? Do you know what exactly it is that teachers are telling your kids about sex, morality, abstinence, homosexuality, etc? Do you know at what age your kids are being taught these things?

But our teachers are wonderful!

Many parents love their kids’ teachers. They see wonderful teachers and think their kids must be safe.

But the curriculum is not chosen by those teachers. It’s the school board who chooses that curriculum.

And in most cases it’s Planned Parenthood who writes that curriculum.

Planned Parenthood and Sex Ed

Really? Planned Parenthood?

Yes. Really. Even here in Bible-belt Manitoba.

Planned Parenthood’s priority is not life or health for your kids. They have money as their focus and they leave ruined lives in their wake.

They lie about the effects of STDs, they lie about the safety of condoms and abortions, and they refuse to teach abstinence as a healthy sexual option.

They also teach that sexual orientation is whatever you want it to be. Planned Parenthood is godless and dangerous. And they have likely written the curriculum your children are being taught from.

Do you know what’s in your child’s sex ed curriculum? I encourage you to check it out.

Sex Ed in Manitoba

I went to the Manitoba Government website to find out what’s in the sex ed curriculum for public schools here in Manitoba. It didn’t take much time.

I was very discouraged by what I found.

I talk to moms all the time. When I ask if they have talked to their kids about sex when their kids are 10, 11 or even 12, they tell me no.

They are so sure their kids will come to them when they are ready. They think the kids aren’t interested. They think their little children are too innocent for all that info. They want to keep them young, just a little longer.

But what they don’t realize is that they are often already far too late. They are receiving the info at school. From teachers. From class discussion with other kids their age. And further discussions on the playground.

If you don’t talk to your kids about sex and what God says about it from a VERY young age someone else WILL get to it first.

And even if your kids are NOT ready you still need to talk to them. Because their school teachers will not be waiting to teach those lessons until they are “ready”. They teach them when the curriculum says to teach them. So you better be teaching at home as well.

And I’m not just talking about periods and body hair. Kids in school are being taught about sex, ejaculations, wet dreams, intercourse, homosexuality, oral sex, and all kinds of additional stuff… and most of this is taught long before grade five!

Take a look at what I uncovered in a simple 15 minute search through the Manitoba Government website.

Kindergarten to Grade Five

Here in Manitoba:

Kindergarten students are taught to name and identify all body parts, including private parts.

Good: I think it’s important for kids to know what their body parts are called.

Bad: I don’t think it’s the teacher or school’s job to teach them about their private parts. Talking about private parts in a school setting, with 30+ other kids and an adult other than their parents, teaches the kids that there’s really nothing all that private about it after all. Granted… after they’ve learned all about these body parts in that setting, they are then told not to talk about it because it’s private and you need to respect private parts. I’m not kidding. And that makes sense how?

Grade 2 students are taught about how eggs and sperm work. They are taught about sexuality and that everyone has a different kind of sexuality (“we’re all special and unique”). Homosexuality is taught as normal. Teachers are encouraged to use a book called ‘Heather Has Two Mommies’.

Good: I think it’s important for kids to know that eggs and sperm make babies. But in grade 2?? I also don’t mind them learning that there is male sexuality and female sexuality.

Bad: None of this is age-appropriate in my opinion. I’ve been mentoring kids now for many years and one thing I know… at this age they are mostly not interested in that level of detail – EXCEPT for things that seem ‘odd’ to them. So they will grab hold of ideas like ‘two mommies’ or ‘two daddies’. A few of these kids may be ready to hear about how babies are made, but most only want brief, non-specific answers. AND I think at this point it is a parent’s job to be giving this information, not the teacher.

As for teaching about sexuality – I think this is way too young. The only thing kids this age are ready to handle is a recognition of differences between genders – boys like to play rough games, and girls like to play more gentle games, etc. But to open up the conversation on things like homosexuality as an option for kids who are still years away from puberty is ridiculous. Male sexuality and female sexuality and their differences won’t be obvious to the kids, even upon inspection, until they begin to reach puberty themselves. This information is pure propaganda regarding homosexuality and has nothing to do with teaching children age-appropriate health-focused principles.

Grade 5 students are learning all about reproductive organs and sexual intercourse. They are also learning how to use sanitary products, what happens when and how do you get an erection, what happens in ejaculation and how does sexual attraction work… and that’s just a small part of the whole package. They are also taught that gender roles are wrong and that there really are no ‘boy’ or ‘girl’ toys or activities. They are taught that we’re all the same except for how our environment has molded us.

Good: At this stage most kids should know about the reproductive organs, at least about the function that each has.

Bad: The reproductive organs the kids need to know about at this point should have already been taught at home and the info given in a public setting should be focused on strictly how that organ works – the science of it. No student should have to hear a teacher explain sexual intercourse in a public school setting. It’s wrong.

I have four kids. I’ve given all of them – and some of their friends – info on sexual intercourse and everything related to it. It’s private. It can be embarrassing. They don’t even want a sibling on the same floor of the house lest they hear what we are talking about. Not because they don’t want to talk about it – they DO! No, it’s because they understand that this is private and they don’t want the beauty of it ruined by some rude or disrespectful comment.

I’ve looked through the curriculum and there is NO mention of morality in connection with sexual intercourse. Some of the material is written and provided by Planned Parenthood (don’t get me started on that!) and some of it also teaches about sexual orientation.

I recently learned that in grade 5, during the sexual intercourse instruction, if a student asks about homosexual sex the teacher is obligated to provide that information to the classroom because there is to be no differentiation between those with differing sexual orientations. So… do you want your kids learning all about homosexual sex in grade 5 from a school teacher? I don’t.

But you know what I think is hypocritical? This whole idea that talking about sex and sexual anything is private! So after having your teacher talk about sex and penises, and vaginas, and erections and emissions, and ejaculations and homosexual intercourse… the teacher is supposed to teach the kids to “keep personal matters private”. Really?!?! Let’s talk about all the private stuff we can at school and then fill your brain with the fact that this is private so you can’t talk about it.

Obviously it’s fine to talk about all this at school – so where exactly should they not be talking about it? At home. Yep. It should come as no surprise that kids are NOT talking to their parents about it. Because after telling them far too much information at school the teachers are telling them to keep it quiet.

After Grade Five

Beyond Grade Five the same things continue to be taught but in even greater depth. This includes how to care for yourself during pregnancy, what to do when you find out you have an STI or HIV/AIDS, how to let people know you have a different sexual orientation than they do, how your family affects our values and choices, etc.

Some of you may have heard about The Little Black Book of Sex which is available for guys, and there’s different one for girls. It’s a book about the how-to of homosexual sex, including positions, how to seduce someone, how to approach someone of the same sex, how to deal with parents who are homophobes, how to have safe anal sex, and so forth.

It is a very, very disturbing book. The book had been approved for Manitoba curriculum use. But from what I have been able to research, it got a lot of negative publicity and so the government has made it very difficult to find out exactly how it is currently being offered.

But I do know this: It is still available. Even in very conservative towns (like Winkler, Manitoba) the book is available for free to students if they just ask for it.

But you have to understand, the reason it is not being handed out in the open as originally planned is not because the content is not being taught. It’s just because they feel parents wouldn’t approve of it being offered in that format. According to one person who was interviewed, “There is nothing in that book that is not already taught in the classroom.”

That’s scary.

How about you?

Do you know what your kids are being taught in sex ed classes? Are you aware of how their marks for other subjects are dependent on their sex ed class? (Especially their English Language Arts mark.)

What would you do if your child came home from school as a 10 year old having been taught about oral sex at school that day?

As a parent, are you willing to talk about this stuff with your kids? And if not, who are you entrusting it to?

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  1. Celesta says:

    Glad I’m homeschooling now!

    I actually think it’s important to explain homosexuality for what it really is, when a kid asks about it or when the subject comes up. When my little brother came home from Gr. 3 telling us that homosexuality was an equal and acceptable choice I couldn’t believe it! I told him the Bible says it is not. He insisted that his teacher said it was okay. So, being the excellent 15-yr-old sister that I was, I explained to him what homosexuals do. That cured him of that view point! LOL!

  2. Carla Anne says:

    I agree Celesta. Several years ago a young girl I know was traumatized by the concept of sex. She’d heard it ‘explained’ and it was psychologically damaging for her. When her mother discussed the whole concept with her found out that she had been told that oral sex was what married people do. Previously this mother had been reluctant to tell her daughter about sex, but this made it necessary. I completely agree that no matter what kind of sex – heterosexual or homosexual – we, as parents need to be teaching WHAT IT IS, and how (at least in general) it works so that they can understand and see for themselves why one is God’s design and one is not. If as parents we are teaching these things at home as they come up in Scripture reading, and in the news, and as they are ready, our kids will have a solid, biblical basis from which to respond to false teaching.

    Because you are right… homosexuality is not just about preferring the company of people who are the same gender as you! Homosexuality is a whole lot more than that and we need to explain the whole story!!

  3. Lisa says:

    I do know what is in the sex ed curriculum at the public school (gasp!) my bible-believing, church going children attend, and I have talked to them and reviewed ALL those things before they got to the age they were being taught. Unfortunately, this is the problem in my opinion, many parents do not talk to their kids about sex, and healthy sexuality. As much as I would like my kids to remain “kids” I don’t think lack of information is the way to go, All this does is put our kids at risk of false teaching as you described above.

    I also think it needs to start early, like 3-4 years old, and kids by the age of 10-12 should understand how their body works, then they can make choices not from a lack of knowledge, but, from a position of strenght of keeping their bodies holy and pure.

    Recently afterschool, a day which they had a sex ed class at school a bunch of grade 5 boys were at my house hanging out, and talking about they stuff they has been taught. I heard my son say “my mom says….. ” which was sweet music to my ears. Kids are curious about sex, and they are going to find out one way or another, wether it be from peers, teachers, or the internet. I would rather it be from me.

  4. Carla Anne says:

    I think it’s great, Lisa, that you know what is in your sex-ed curriculum at school. That’s the whole point of this article. So many parents don’t and think that if they wait until their kids start talking about they’ll be ready to tell them. But the fact is that we need to start telling our kids early on what we want them to know, in a way they understand, so that all the info always comes from us first.

    I think very strongly, though, that when we talk to our kids about sex it has to be about more than just the mechanics, but also what the Bible says and why we believe what we do about sex. I have taught my kids about homosexual sex. They need to know. And when I did I also taught them what the Bible says and what I believe about it.

    Sex is not a morally neutral topic. That’s why I think it is so dangerous for parents to leave that subject up to the teachers to teach.

    Sounds like you are doing a great job with your kids!!

  5. Lisa says:

    I agree with you Carla. I guess my thought was you can’t just teach the morals without the mechanics, I don’t believe that is effective. And I don’t think schools should be teaching just the mechanics without the morals. Unfortunately, I’ve seen too often where christian parents ignore the mechanics totally, and preach the morals. I think you need to have an open healthy ongoing discussion with your kids about sex, and the impact it has on the world around us.

    One of my favorite ways to tease me kids (who are 11 and 13 year old boys), mostly just to make them chuckle and keep the discussion open, everytime we see a sign that says Please ask for condiments… I ask them to read the sign, and before they finish saying condim… I interrupt them and say, “you want to talk about condoms?” Guaranteed they will laugh and say no, but, also reaffirms it is OK to talk to us about this stuff.

  6. Meg says:

    Thank you so much for this Carla!!!!
    My daughter is 4 and already knows the proper terms for private parts and knows that the place to talk about your private parts is AT HOME, where we can talk openly about anything she would like to know. She is a very curious girl! My goal is to continue to teach her these things at home BEFORE the school does, if she attends public school. Thanks so much for letting us know we need to be aware about what is being taught when, I will most certainly ask about the Sex Ed curriculum when the time comes!

  7. Connie says:

    Kids need to learn about sex. Sex isn’t bad or shameful. Yes, STDs are a concern. But in a healthy relationship in which the participants have the information they need, that the schools ensure they have, STDs are less of a hazard. It’s sad that in Canada so many people are scared to talk about something so natural and beautiful. Secrecy makes it seem dirty but also unhealthfully intriguing to kids.

    I’m especially relieved to hear that lesbian and gay kids are not ostracized or kept in the dark about the information that will apply to them. IT’S ABOUT TIME! It was such a different and sad story back when I was in public school.

    • Carla Anne says:

      Connie, welcome to the blog. I hope you find lots to encourage you here on the site.

      I do want to say though, that I do disagree with your viewpoint in your comment. I think there is far more beauty to sex than what can be taught in a classroom. And I also firmly believe that STD’s are only a small concern in light of the other problems that can arise with sex outside of a monogamous marriage between one man and one woman. In the case of the teaching regarding lesbian and gay individuals, I think that what is being taught is actually more damaging than saying nothing at all. I agree that sex is something that should be talked about, but should be done so with consideration to God’s standards as well as the physical, emotional, relational and spiritual impacts it has on people both now and in the future.

      Thanks for your comment.

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