Okay… here we go again!! I’m about to step on the toes of many people… even some of those I love dearly.
But it’s not because I want to offend anyone, it’s because this is such an important issue.
I don’t think Christians should wear bikinis
I’ve never understood how a girl can shriek in panic if her dad or brother or grandpa comes near her bedroom door when she’s changing, wearing a bra and panties, but then run around in less than that on the beach and think it’s okay.
I really do not understand that.
I and my girls do not wear bikinis. The reason is modesty.
But why do I think modesty is so important? Why should tans and fashion be pushed aside in favor of modest, breast-belly-bum covering clothing?
- God says you are made with value, and that value has nothing to do with your breasts or how sexy you are.
- Boys and men (yes even the old senior citizen men on the beach) are turned on by your body.
- Boys and men who see a woman’s body – especially a naked body (or mostly naked) – can remember that image even if they saw it for less than 13 seconds. And they can recall it more than 60 YEARS later with excruciating detail.
- That means, yes, when Mr. Not-So-Pure-Old-Man on the beach goes home and wants to have self-sex he may well be thinking about you in the bikini. I’m not kidding.
- Your brother and his friends (and cousins and uncles and probably grandpa) cannot help that their brain and body have a physical and chemical reaction to seeing your breasts and almost naked body.
- Which means that you are putting these guys in a very, very difficult position. Many of them control themselves when you are around, but don’t even ask what they say when you are not. Trust me… they do say things, and even do things!
- Boys and men who see you in a bikini have an automatic response to you: their brain actually reacts to you as if you are not a person, but rather a tool like a chain saw or hammer or power drill. Yep… you just became something to be used, not loved.
Don’t believe me? Watch this video.
God wants more for you. He wants you to know you are loved because of who you are.
He wants you to know you are beautiful because He made you.
And no matter how unfashionable it may be, you will have the respect and honor of the men around you if you don’t put on that bikini.
Finding Modest Bathing Suits
Here are some places you can find modest bathing suits:
- http://swimmodest.com/ – We bought these for years. We loved them! They are one-pieces, but very, very comfortable.
- http://www.divinitasole.com/ – I particularly like the ‘Bowtie Tankini’ and the fact that you can choose modest cut bottoms.
- http://www.limericki.com/ – we’ve found great tankinis here paired with the shorts bottoms. Not everything is modest, use wise judgment.
- http://www.swimsuitsforall.com/#back – many of these are modest, especially if you notice that they have ‘modest’ options for leg openings, back opening, and neck openings. We’ve found this site great for one-pieces as my girls have exceptionally long bodies and finding a one-piece is very, very difficult. Again, make sure it meets your modesty standard. (CAUTION: We have recently tried to return a swimsuit here and had significant difficulty with customer service.)
- http://hydrochic.com/modest-swimsuits.html – they have some seriously modest swim suits including long sleeves, long legs, and skirts. But still sporty!
- http://www.dressingforhisglory.com/ – this was recommended by Nicole in the comments. It looks like a great site and I may just try them out!
- http://www.landsend.com/ – Recommended by Julia and Kellie. Caution: Not all bathing suits are modest! Please choose carefully and wisely.
- http://www.llbean.com/ – Also recommended in the comments. Again, please choose wisely!
- http://www.girls4sport.net/ – These rash guards look great! Thanks to Julie for the link!
- http://www.mermaidmaternity.net/ – Thanks to Laurel for this great site for maternity bathing suits!
- http://www.coolibar.com/ – another great site from a new commenter! So glad to have all your suggestions!
- http://freshmodesty.com./ – Thanks to a new reader, this site is great as well. I checked it out and it looks like she sells a great modest bathing suit pattern that is fully customizable to your degree of modesty and style. And she’s even got a modest maternity suit! As I looked throughout her site I saw there were other great modesty tips and how to turn plain things into cute things. Looks like a great site!
What Do You Think?
You know where I stand, but maybe you don’t agree! Or maybe you do!
Tell us what you think on this issue!
One more question: If you have lived or currently live in a culture other than a typical North American culture, please comment on how modesty issues are different or the same in that part of the world. If another part of a woman’s body is sexually attractive in that culture (thighs versus breasts, or necks versus bottoms, etc) what does modesty look like there?
Some Related Posts by Carla Anne
Low Necklines – Modesty Part One
Carla Anne discusses modesty standards for tops. Includes tips on finding or adapting tops.
Modest Mocks – Modesty Part Two
Carla Anne gives step by step instructions on how to make a Modest Mock. Want to wear that great looking top, but the neckline is too low and you don’t want to wear another shirt underneath? This is a fantastic solution.
Carla Anne responds to a Toronto Star article based on the book “The Purity Myth”, which claims that “the myth of sexual purity is damaging a whole generation of women”.
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Thankfully our ministry sponsor Faithbuddy was able to quickly step in and get carlaanne.com back online. (Thanks Guys!) Faithbuddy has spent many years developing a prayer-focused social network, and it’s now in testing. You may want to check it out.