I Don’t Like My Husband

There have been times when I really felt like there was nothing I liked about my husband. Even times I felt like I couldn’t be in the same room as he was. Books, counselors, pastors and friends would tell me, ‘Think back to what made you fall in love with him.”

But I’d still come up blank.

Some of the reasons I’d married my husband for were no longer part of his life. So I felt lost. I felt like there was no hope.

Where is the hope?

Perhaps you have felt like that. Maybe even today. Hopeless. Tired of trying. Emotionless.

You can’t even imagine feeling truly happy with your husband again. And it seems like your only option is out. Out of the marriage. Out of the house. Out of his life.

It may not be spring and butterflies in your marriage right now, but if you look carefully you will find there is hope.

My friend!! I know exactly how you feel. I was there for a very, very long time.

But let me tell you this… listen carefully… hope is NOT lost. Your marriage can be revived. Love can be ignited again.

Steps toward hope

Here are a few things to start with.

1. Think about 1 thing today, about your husband, that you can thank God for. You don’t have to “like” it to thank God for it. My first thing was my husband’s hands. He worked on a computer all day so he needed his hands and he had hands. So I thanked God for his hands.
2. Tomorrow think about a different thing you can thank God for. Does he have a driver’s license? Thank God you don’t have to drive him everywhere! Does he wear clothes to work? Praise God that he doesn’t go to work naked!!
3. Every day for one month, write up one thing you can thank God for. Then write out a prayer thanking God for that one thing in your husband.
4. Watch your children. Look for character traits that were passed down from you, and others that were passed on from your husband. Isn’t it amazing how ‘cute’ those traits can be in the kids? (At least some of them!) Write down something good that was passed down from him and why you like to see that in your child. Then, over dinner, or while driving (some time when it’s not a tense, personal moment) tell your husband how you saw that trait in your child and how glad you were to see that.
5. Find a Bible verse (ask God to help you choose one) that you can pray for your husband. Pray this verse for him every day!!
6. Thank your husband for one thing out loud every day. This is a tough one!! It could be, “Thanks for going to work today.” Or “Thank you for coming home.” Or “Thanks for not abusing me and the kids. So many women don’t have safe husbands.” Think about it. Pray about it. Then verbalize it.
7. Write down one thing you don’t like about your husband. Then write out five reasons why that thing you don’t like could possibly be a benefit. (This is even harder than #6!) Then thank God for that thing you don’t like.
8. Pray. Pray. Pray. Ask God to show you what HE likes in your husband.
9. Ask your husband about his dreams for the future. Listen as he talks. If he has no dreams, pray that God will give him some.
10. Ask your children what they love about Daddy. Incorporate those things into your thankful prayers. And don’t forget to let him know!!

Take heart my friend. It is not unusual to go through a season of not liking our husbands. In difficult marriages it seems to be quite common. But it doesn’t have to end there! You can make a change with God’s help.

It’s worth the effort!

These can be hard, hard exercises… but they are worth it. Saving your marriage is worth it.