What Exactly is a Happy Marriage?

I’ve seen a lot of marriages and I’m in one. I look at everyone else’s and they all look better than mine. Not only are the women prettier (and slimmer, and more fit, and have whiter teeth, and no age spots) but their marriages are like heaven on earth!

It looks so perfect doesn't it?

I know this how? I knew you’d ask. Well it’s simple. They always look happy. And they wear brand name clothing and nice make-up.

Hmmmm… Does that make sense to you?

Not to me. But I think that way and I bet you sometimes do, too!

Picture perfect assumptions

It’s easy to look at the people around us and make assumptions about their private lives. And the other side of that is people may be thinking your marriage looks pretty perfect, too!

The longer I’m involved with Married Solo Moms, and mentoring in general, the more I realize this. Very, very few people have close to perfect marriages. And those that do don’t have them consistently. Every marriage has its ups and downs. Good times and bad. Super times and tragic.

So what is it that we are really looking for? If no one has it, then how can I get it?

My personal opinion is there is no such thing as a happy marriage.

No such thing as a Happy Marriage

Hear me out on this.

So many people are looking for a marriage that will make them happy. That kind of “happy marriage” doesn’t exist, at least not for long.

I think there are happy people in not-so-great, average, and even a few great marriages. And there are unhappy people in those same kinds of marriages.

There are people who understand that if things aren’t great today, that’s okay because my marriage is going to last for the long haul and better days are coming. Those people often also understand that while perfect may not be possible, better is within reach. And they can be happy with that.

Some personality types are more likely to say they have happy marriages, and others are more likely to always find fault. I’m in that last category unfortunately! No matter how great things get I keep looking for improvement! It turns out that most women are like me. We always want more quality time. More affection. Better sex. Clearer communication. Special gifts. And a little more help around the house!

Here’s the truth: you can make your marriage great by working on it! But you can choose to be happy in almost any marriage, right where you are.

Take a step toward your spouse. Start acting like you would if your marriage was fabulous! Settle with the idea that happy is your state of mind and perfect is for heaven. Then stop being jealous of all those other people who have marriages just like yours!

What do you think?

What does it take to be happy in a marriage? Give me your thoughts!!